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| I'm back. I had to. =)
Since when has life become so difficult? Back then, all we had to worry about asking parents for money for field trips and to buy new clothes. Now, we have to worry about finding a job to make enough money to live out on our own one day and make car payments as well as other bills to worry about. & school fees. It was so much easier before we had that smack of reality of growing up. Now I get what Melissa was so afraid of.
So, updates. I've learned to less depend on my parents now and it's tough cause I have absolutely nothing while my brother was given everything at a time where money wasn't as big of a problem. I'm jealous, but it's all the reason for me to work so hard for what I have. I started that the minute my parents lost hope that I wouldn't graduate because my big brother went through the struggles I went through and didn't exactly, well.. get through.
I'm finally out of high school. For my summer, I had expected to do my externship, but I had all the worries of my teachers and sites accepting me, but it worked out after all. So I have 200 hours to complete for my externship and then I'll be able to pay&take my test to make me a CERTIFIED Medical Assistant. I'll be starting Monday morning and I'm pretty psyched out, but really nervous, too. =X
As for working, I want one but it'll be so difficult cause I'd have to depend on my brother until I get my car [his old car] fixed. Maybe I'll work cause I really want that paaaypah, but it's just gonna be too complicating if I don't have a car. & DEFINITELY no minimum wage for me for now. I'm not settling for less.
Me & my boyfriend are frickin wonderful! I think we fixed the ONE thing that kept breaking us up. We definitely know how to fix our problems now and it's now a proven fact how much we've grown together. These kind of things give me sooo much more faith for us than what I already have. 2 years 3 mo. <3
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| There's this thing about life, that no matter how much you think something's changed.. the reality is that it's the same kind of change that's happened all along. and that leads you right back where you started.
WHAT IF THE WHOLE WORLD ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD EVERY SINGLE PERSON?
WOULDN'T IT BE A BETTER PLACE?
Yet, somehow, each and every one of us lack something to understand everyone the way they want us to.
I know there are things you start to realize after making mistakes and going through the rain in life, but somehow, life still isnt perfect just when you think you've grown so much from what you go through.
And all these experiences make you wiser about life, but exactly how much are we suppose to know to make life more worthwhile instead of making the same mistakes?
I was talking to my boyfriend Peter today about certain people. No, scratch that.. a certain someone. and it made me have to see again that the people who are close to your heart one morning.. can have different opposing thoughts about yu by the afternoon, and by night.. it's as if the friendship you had was never there. My point is, anyone can turn their back on you any minute. and it's the people you least expect. & even then, somehow, you find it so easy in your heart to forgive them because you value friendships, but after each dagger going through that friendship you thought you still had, it makes you wanna give up thinking you deserve better.
I've got a lot of things going through my mind. I've been so mad at life lately. I know, at times, I deserve every bit of it.. but I just want one moment where I'm able to hold my head up for a period of time that's been long enough for me to believe that life isn't always gonna have bullshit to deal with.. that there will be a period of time that there's true, pure happiness that doesn't require blood, sweat, or tears. I'm looking for hope.
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| I feel like I just got a fresh new start at life =)
This past week has been extremely crazy, but it all led up to the things that truly were meant to happen. It's like everything just fell apart, but came back together all in one. I know, I always mess things up.. but I know that as long as I don't feel "trapped", then I can do something with that. I've gotten a lot of things done lately that I'm so proud of accomplishing. This year was so different for me. I've realized how much I've grown, but I know there are still things I need to figure out about myself. What people don't understand these days is learning to cherish what they've got. It wasn't suppose to be easy and everything in life isn't gonna come out the way you like it. Yeah, it's taking things for granted. I don't want to do that anymore after how much I've seen it hurt me.
This past week has also been some shit I`ll never forget. OMG, never had I imagined my life actually take a sharp fall in completely one day. In those very moments, I felt like I had nothing. These are the kind of events in life that make you just want to change yourself. I know you probably have no idea whatsoever about what I'm talking about, but let's just say that taking advantage of the things you have and the people you know are not a good idea. Man, was that a smack of reality!
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| I can't wait to get this Senior Project stuff over with!
Just a couple or few more weeks & all I gotta worry about are oral boards.
Luckily me, it hasn't cost me a single penny to get my Senior Project done. My 18th Birthday is in less than a month, too!
No big planning, & especially no Debut [catillion].
It is too ridiculous to spend that much money on a party that's just like any other
& I'm still unsure on what we'll be doing AFTER my birthday dinner. I'm definitely graduating this year! 2007, baby!
Walking is very important to me right now
& I'd like to thank those who believed in me & encouraged me =) & I'm officially CPR certified
which means I could one day save your life. Haha.
--Do you trust me? ;D
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